come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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