you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
