I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
