don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
