Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
