He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Randomize
