who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
