ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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