Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
