"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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