my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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