I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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