My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize
