Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
He kissed a someone with a penis
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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