I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
