Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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