shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
