my mouth tastes like poor choices
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
