Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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