The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
