Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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