it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
