it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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