like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
