apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
