Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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