good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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