Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
