The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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