Is it normal to miss your booty call?
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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