so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Randomize
