And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Randomize