Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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