How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
