I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
