plz talk dirty to me
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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