I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I checked into jail on foursquare
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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