Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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