You really coming over, don't trick.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
