Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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