Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
