Don't you send me to vm
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
