everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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