I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize