CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
