I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
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