I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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