You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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