Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
