the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize