Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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