bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
