Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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