come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
