I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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