fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I will die if light touches me.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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