do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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