I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
