How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I'm having to shit out rocks
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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