She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
