Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Randomize
