why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
