5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Randomize
