I just saw a hot homeless man
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
