Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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