you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
