Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
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