Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
