its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
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