Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
