What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
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